do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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