shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize