also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
