THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
