Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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