The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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