I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
