I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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