I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
