Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
