Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
