remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
