So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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