You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
