dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize