He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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