your parents love me but you hate me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
