I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
