youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You can't just leave with hair like that
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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