I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
