Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
