But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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