Porn is love you can see.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
