all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
