I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
