this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
