dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
