Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
