Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I need moral support for this bender
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize