I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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