the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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