I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
