I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
