yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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