she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
