Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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