hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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