just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
