Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
