I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize