my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
