I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
ttyl tear gas
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
