I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
