I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
