Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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