Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
