Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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