Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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