Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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