weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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