you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
