Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
