2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
