if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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