hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize