Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
