I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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