9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
