We're facebook friends in real life
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
