so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
