look no pants
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This is the high leading the old right now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
