the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
