if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize