You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
