why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
