Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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