I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize