Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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