we have officially lost it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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