I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
