so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
