he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
