Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize